News flash: Humans are sexual beings.

We have needs, wants, desires. We seek others to share experiences. And sometimes we bring products into the picture.

The Victorians invented the vibrator. The first commercial lube was introduced in 1904. Yet the idea of shopping for sexual accoutrements has been riddled with stigma and shame for basically ever. 

Looking around your neighborhood drug store you might find a few options from the major players, but they’re probably tucked, if not hidden, away.

Probably between the period care and the pregnancy tests. Treated as an afterthought and a problem-solver as opposed to something celebrated and purchased for fun.  A trip down the interstate might introduce you to some spots that seem to cater to the 18-wheeler crowd—hardly inviting with their shades pulled aesthetic and desolate settings. And then there’s the internet with endless options, discreet shipping (reinforcing that this is some kind of secret), and little chance of seeing, touching, or discussing the pros and cons of different options.

Here’s the thing: this puritanical point of view is being pushed aside by an evolving cultural conversation that encourages exploration and discovery and, dare I say, celebration, of our sexual selves. Major fashion magazines regularly have reviews and top 10 lists. Blogs on beauty, healthy living, self-care, wellness, and design all feature the what, how, where, and why of sex toys and intimate care. And everyone from Gen Z to baby boomers and beyond is becoming more vocal about what works for them and the fact that a sex life is real life.

The good news is there are some retailers that are stepping up and embracing the wholeness of women’s lives.

Dame Products introduction to Sephora was big news, not just because it’s a huge, national expansion for them, but also because it’s confirmation from a major retailer that wellness isn’t all mushrooms and crystals, it’s vibrators and lube and oils and sanitizer. Urban Outfitters can outfit every aspect of your life from your clothing to your decor to your bookshelf to your bedside table. And Singapore-based Ramblin Brands’ Smile Makers has made the considered decision not to be sold in traditional sex-toy stores, brick & mortar or online, as they firmly believe that they are a wellness brand. Fortunately stores like Bloomingdales and Anthropologie are firmly onboard.

Long time Fancy client, Lion’s Den has spent the past 8 years reconceiving the way they are perceived in the world. Understanding women are feeling more confident in their sexuality and are willing to spend on it, they’ve been updating the instore experience as well as the way they reach out into the world. Ladies’ Nights create a judgement-free experience for women to gather, ask questions, see products and have fun together. An ongoing commitment to International Women’s Day brings the cultural conversation into the retail environment. And advertising continues to reinforce the message that the brand is for people “just like me.” All of this is opening doors for them to be invited into mainstream partnerships and main streets alike.

One thing we’ve learned throughout the pandemic is that the sexual wellness business is big business.

Lockdown left us with a lot of time on our hands. Time to try new things. Time to make something new out of the same old. Time to spend thinking about what we really wanted — alone or with a partner. Sales in the category took off, and comfortable shoppers are going to keep buying.

At the end of the day, we can tell ourselves that sex is shameful, pleasure is aberrant, and desires should be repressed, or we can use our influence as marketers and retailers to help people live a life that feels good, physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

What do you say?