By the time a mother is in her forties (no matter how old her kids are), she’s seen a lot and done a lot, and that experience cannot be ignored. There is more to her thoughts, her emotions, her life, than simply being a mother. When Fancy surveyed 500 women over 40 about their feelings concerning advertising and marketing, what they thought advertisers were getting right—and not so right, we made an important discovery.  

9 out of 10 mothers would like to see themselves shown in roles other than mom.

This could be because over half of the moms we spoke to said advertisers were getting their motherhood experience wrong. 

These mothers we interviewed spanned all kinds of demographics. The moms were in cities, the suburbs, and the country. Women who are home with the kids, and women who are the primary earners. Women of all ethnicities and salary levels. They were women in lots of different life circumstances. Their opinions varied in some cases, but they remained largely united on one topic: advertisers are consistently missing the mark. 

Here are a few reminders about the motherhood experience for our friends in the marketing departments:

You never stop being a mother.

Google how to market to moms and just about everything that comes up is about millennial moms. Now, Gen Z does get a mention or two, but GenX? Boomers? Not so much. This is not to say that Millennial and Gen Z motherhood isn’t important. It is. But so is the experience of all those other groups. Sure, there are moments and phases of waxing and waning intensity—a mother’s sleepless nights can be caused by colic, a party you only vaguely know about, or an upcoming medical school match day—but no one will say, “Whoa, being a mom was rough. Glad the little one is 10 and I can move on to the rest of my life now!”

Moms of newborns are not all 26.

Even if your brand focuses on the newborn segment, it’s good to remember that over 100k babies are born to women over 40 every year in the United States. Consider her experience when you think of who’s buying your products.

Not all moms give birth.

Around 140,000 children are adopted by American families each year. Half of adoptive mothers are between 40-44 years old. Building a family can happen in many ways and acknowledging that is important.

Motherhood isn’t everything. 

Even to moms. That was made clear in our survey when 9 out of 10 mothers said they wanted to be portrayed in roles other than mom. In no way does this diminish the role of motherhood in a person’s life. It can be defining. It can be exceptional. It can be transformative. It isn’t, however, everything. The pre-motherhood self does not simply evaporate, replaced by the selfless devotion to others and instant knowledge of laundry cycles, sheet pan dinners, and where the extra AA batteries are. That person is still in there. And advertisers would be wise to appeal to her. 

Kids benefit from going along for the ride. And not just in the minivan.

When children are exposed to images of mothers having lives beyond their immediate experience, they learn that all people (single, coupled, parents, non-parents) have the opportunity to and responsibility for moving the world and culture forward. 

It’s not all about work. 

While it’s important to show women with powerful jobs, jobs we’re not used to seeing women have in advertising, it’s also important to show women having fun, learning new things, exploring various facets of their lives. Moms are constantly told to do more, give more, sacrifice more of themselves for the good of their families, of their communities, of literally anyone but themselves. Imagine if we encouraged her to bring more of herself forward, if we celebrated her creativity, if we saw her as a person.

Women want relationships with brands.

Another thing that came out in Fancy’s survey of women over 40 was that these women want relationships with brands. They just feel that their experience is disregarded, and they themselves are being flat-out ignored. Imagine what would happen if your brand were the one that reached out and included them in interesting, relevant, and meaningful ways.