When you picture a “mom” in your head is she 25? 35? How old are her kids? Newborn? Pre-schoolers? School-aged? 

Older and out

Moms in their 40s, never mind their 50s, are largely left out of the motherhood conversation brands are having no matter how old their kids are. First of all, each year there are over 100,000 babies born to mothers over the age of 40. This means that some mothers could be working on their baby’s first steps at the same time as their friends are dealing with their children’s first dates and still, others are pushing towards their graduates’ first jobs. 

The fact is, no matter what age they were when their first baby arrived, they don’t just stop being mothers when their kids hit some arbitrary age. It doesn’t matter if the child is 5 or 10 or 38 or 72.  

Motherhood is not a transition period

Something a person goes through. Sure, there are moments and phases of waxing and waning intensity—a mother’s sleepless nights can be caused by colic, a party you only vaguely know about, or an upcoming medical school match day—but no one will say, “Whoa, being a mom was rough. Glad the little one is 10 and I can move on to the rest of my life now!”  

I’ve been a mother for nearly 19 years and though the degree focus on my kids has shifted over time, the magnitude has not. These days I’m more worried about where they are at midnight than I am about the number of artificial colors in their cereal, but it’s the same concern for their wellbeing. Just packaged differently. And I’d say that conversations I had about personal finance with my own mother when she was in her 60s were her way of continuing her parental responsibility and making sure I’d be ok no matter what. 

it’s a journey

So why, then, are brands not acknowledging the journey that is motherhood, the permanence of this state of being? Is it because they think we don’t need “supplies” and more stuff to mother our teens, young adults, and grown children? Is it because they think we’re not existing in a state of wide-eyed fear of the future, like a 28 year old mom of two toddlers, desperate to try anything to make life easier and maybe allow for a nap? (Spoiler alert: we are. The future, and the world we’re leaving for our children is scary no matter how old you (or your kids) are.)

acknowledge who we are and the life we’re living

Brands, acknowledging and portraying this aspect of ourselves is part of respecting women over 40 and the lives we’re living at any given time. It shows you see us. That you get us. That you’re on our side. That you’re not about selling, you’re about solving. 

When you do this, you’re saying we should hang out, really get to know each other. Develop a real relationship. And you know what? We will. Because that’s authentic connection, and we don’t have time for anything that’s not.