Women over 40 are a wildly diverse group in many many ways, but one of the most significant ways their experiences are very personal and distinct from one another is motherhood. A woman in her early forties could be grappling with nursing her newborn or coping with an empty nest. She could even have grandchildren. 

However, advertising’s depiction of motherhood generally focuses on the wrinkle-free twenty-something and her baby, toddler, preschooler, elementary school child. 

There are very few examples of midlife moms and kids of any age. And especially few examples highlighting the relationship between moms and teenage or young adult children. When you get to the far end of the spectrum with mothers (and fathers) of midlife children, they exist predominately to be cared for by the next generation. This makes the midlife woman in those situations still portrayed as a mom because she is mothering her own parents. 

9 out of 10 mothers would like to see themselves shown in roles other than mom.

When Fancy surveyed 500 women over 40 about their feelings concerning advertising and marketing, what they thought advertisers were getting right—and not so right, an interesting thing we discovered was that 9 out of 10 mothers would like to see brands showing women in roles other than mom. This could be because over half of the moms we spoke to said advertisers were getting their motherhood experience wrong. 

These women we interviewed spanned all kinds of demographics. They were in cities, the suburbs, and the country. Women who are home with the kids, and women who are the primary earners. Women of all ethnicities and salary levels. Women who are married, unmarried, with children and without. They were women in lots of different life circumstances. Their opinions varied in some cases, but they remained largely united on one topic: advertisers are consistently missing the mark. 

The vast majority of women feel misunderstood by the very same companies that want them to buy their goods and services.

When women feel that brands don’t understand their motherhood experience, it’s not surprising that we found that 80% of the women we surveyed felt that brands perpetuate gender inequality and harmful gender stereotypes. 

You never stop being a mother.

I recently read an article that offered tips to targeting different generations of moms. I thought - finally! - but I was wrong. The author quickly pointed out that she was not talking about Millennials, GenX, and Baby Boomers. Instead, she wanted to make sure her audience understood that the moms to focus on were Millennials and Gen Z. This is not to say that GenZ motherhood isn’t essential. It is. But so is the experience of all those other groups. Even if your brand focuses on the newborn segment, it’s good to remember that over 100k babies are born to women over 40 every year in the United States.

And you’re way more than a mom. 

In no way does this diminish the role of motherhood in a person’s life. It can be defining. It can be exceptional. It can be transformative. It isn’t everything. The pre-motherhood self does not simply evaporate, replaced by the selfless devotion to others and instant knowledge of laundry cycles, sheet pan dinners, and where the extra AA batteries are. That person is still in there. And advertisers would be wise to appeal to her. 

Kids benefit from going along for the ride.

When children are exposed to images of mothers having lives beyond their immediate experience, they learn that all people (single, coupled, parents, non-parents) have the opportunity to and responsibility for moving the world and culture forward. 

It’s not all about work. 

While it’s important to show women with powerful jobs, jobs we’re not used to seeing women have in advertising, it’s also important to show women having fun, learning new things, exploring various facets of their lives. 

Women want relationships with brands.

Another thing that came out in Fancy’s survey of women over 40 was that these women want relationships with brands. They just feel that their experience is disregarded, and they themselves are being flat out ignored. Imagine what would happen if your brand were the one that reached out and included them in interesting and meaningful ways.